borderlands is made of win.

i was firmly 'meh' about it in the days leading up to its release. it had some funny ads. it had some catchy music on those ads (the ending song, "No Heaven" by Champion, which totally rocks). but i looked at the gameplay vids and said 'it looks a lot like Elder Scrolls or Fallout; i'll get sidetracked doing sidequests forever and never finish it.'

when it came out, had to work, so i promised to take the game home and keep it company. i intended to play it occasionally. it has split-screen, so i figured i'd hop into his game once in a while. then i actually played it.

i played it for FIVE HOURS STRAIGHT. when trav got home and we found out that you can't play split-screen with an XBL party. i immediately (and somewhat frantically) went on a hunt for my own copy. there were TWO gamestops left in Springfield that had copies. our pals at the mall kindly called over and conveyed my desperate need for Borderlands: "Borderlands on 360? Really? Reserved, or--okay, cool. Could you set one aside for a customer? Yeah, she may actually kill you if you sell it."

and i proceeded to play it for several hours every day (as it was pretty much the only thing my eyes and brain could handle with the sinus migraines i've been having). i have all the achievements, i have a level 50 and a pair of level 30-somethings. i have found several amusing weapons, such as the Friendly Fire (shotgun with the ability "have a nice day..." -- it shoots in a flaming smiley), the Mongol (rocket launcher with "beware the horde" -- it fires MIRV rounds which will split infinitely until encountering an object), and the Thanatos (repeater pistol with "Big Tony says 'hi'" -- it fires like a submachine gun). i have found all the Claptraps, even the unreachable gag Claptrap in Fyrestone (and my favorite is still Taylor Kobb's...i have never laughed so hard at being called a "walking shit container.")

so.

yeah. buy it. or rent it. or whatever. and stuff.

encourage Gearbox to make MOAR.

p.s. (minor spoiler) why the hell would we ever want to open the Vault? *drinks soda as consolation*

p.p.s. it is mildly disturbing when your friend/sometime-co-author asks you very seriously to do the math and find out what kind of damage would be done by a 50-foot freefall. i had to actually dig up my notes to find the impact force formula. if you're wondering, a completely relaxed person in a spread-eagle 50-foot freefall onto stone or concrete would suffer surface damage (bruises, cuts), possible fractured ribs, possible broken teeth/nose, and possible concussion. onto loose soil or grass, there would be bruising and a possible concussion. into water, lots of pain and bruising, and you could potentially snap your neck. and you might be surprised the kind of results you get when searching for the breakage threshold of various bones.


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